


same, same again

by holdingbee



Series: a gift; a promise [2]
Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:41:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21999925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holdingbee/pseuds/holdingbee
Summary: tim needs to see sasha.//self indulgent one-shot part 2 electric boogaloo
Series: a gift; a promise [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1583674
Comments: 21
Kudos: 235





	same, same again

**Author's Note:**

> y'all are so NICE so I'm writing more of this!!! stay tuned for more on this AU. also I write this on my phone and I'm posting it from the amsterdam airport so... pls tell me if I've missed some grammar or mispelled words!!

"Do it for me too."

"I'm sorry... Tim, was it?"

Tim swallows his impatience and irritation as best he can, but he's not that good at gentle and charming anymore. All he's good for is brooding and scowling and scaring Martin, when the poor bloke's just trying his best to help. But Martin can't fix the horror they're all stuck in, no matter how many cups of tea he brews.

Maybe this stranger, this Jon, can. This twig of a man, with the worst posture he's ever seen, who's currently eyeing him with a mix of suspicion and contempt. Tim really hopes that Jon's faking that, just like Martin said he was faking his whole allegiance with Elias and the Holding or whatever the Magnus Institute's mysterious eldritch benefactor is. He still doesn't really get that whole thing, even though Martin explained it to him twice in the tunnels that are apparently safe and not full of worms like the last time they were down there, running for their lives.

It's been a tough couple of months.

Tim realises that Jon's been staring at him for a good minute now. Sue him, he gets lost in his thoughts sometimes. Fun side effect of a shitload of trauma, Tim reckons.

"Yes. I'm Tim. And I want you to-"

_Stop talking, you idiot!_

Tim flinches back, eyes darting around wildly as he recoils from the voice in his ear. Jon's still staring at him, contemptuous mask barely concealing panic as Tim realises that this is the freaky mind whisper thing. Although Martin described it as a lot more... gentle? Reassuring? This harsh, disembodied voice in his ear is anything but and he pushes down the urge to take a step back.

_What part of Elias cannot know about ANYTHING do you not understand?_

"You were saying, Tim?"

Jon's expression is beyond pained. Tim feels like an idiot.

"Uh... I'd like you to make another copy of that statement. The, uh, Naomi Herne one?"

Jon relaxes, creases in his brow smoothing over.

"I'm sure you can manage that yourself."

Tim nods and turns to go, before a slight shake of Jon's head stops him in his tracks. Busying himself with a pile of statements on the desk, Jon avoids eye contact with Tim as he awkwardly hovers in the doorway, unsure of what to do and what Jon wants with him. His need to see Sasha, the real Sasha, thrums within him like his heart in his throat and Tim wants to throw away his dignity and beg this strange man for the same gift he gave Martin.

_I'm not a vending machine for memories, Tim. And no, I can't read your thoughts, so stop frowning at me like that._

So Jon has a sense of humour. Huh. Tim had been projecting SORRY AND ALL BUT I NEED TO SEE REAL SASHA PLEASE as hard as he could and although it's somewhat irritating that Jon's spooky powers don't extend to receiving thoughts, there's a look in Jon's eyes somewhere between empathy and annoyance.

"I'm sorry for wasting your time, boss."

Jon gives him a shrewd look, and seems to make a decision, picking up his desk phone with purpose in his eyes and a determined set to his mouth.

_Fine_.

"Hi Elias, I've been having some... issues, with Tim."

There's a pause while Elias responds, words too soft for Tim to make out.

"I thought so too, but he's been bothersome recently. I've got it under control, but I think he'll take the rest of the day off after this."

Tim can hear Elias's soft laughter through the phone and feels his face curl into a grimace of disgust. Jon looks like he's trying to hide very similar emotions.

"Thank you."

Jon listens for a few moments before putting the phone down and rising from his desk, wincing slightly as he puts weight on his right leg. He walks to Tim slowly and reaches out a hand to Tim's face, eyes tired. They lock eyes for a moment, and Tim gives him a nod of- permission? Pleading? Something like that. Tim registers just how cold Jon's hands are before his eyes snap shut, plunging him into a memory.

Melanie had told them everything she remembered about Sasha on the one occasion she'd met the woman, writing down her statement for the absent archivist under Elias's watchful eye. Tim still resents himself a little for ignoring Melanie's queries about the other woman when she was first employed by the Institute, and resents Melanie a little for the lack of details she could give him and Martin.

Martin had described the real Sasha to Tim as many times as Tim requested, in the dust and cold of the tunnels as they huddled together and hoped against hope that Jon was right about the tunnels being something of a blind spot for Elias. Martin's descriptions pale in comparison to the woman in front of Tim, however, and a dry sob escapes him.

Jon's shown him a lunch break, the sunburn on Martin's cheeks placing the day as somewhere soon after an ill-advised trip to the beach in late June. Tim watches himself lean back in his chair to laugh at something a cute black woman says, and feels a pang of longing for how carefree his past self looks before a wave of grief hits him. This must be Sasha, the real Sasha. She's beautiful.

Tim watches her hit his arm playfully in response to some snarky comment he makes, and he aches for the softness in his eyes and the affection with which she smiles at him. Martin's with them too, with no fear making his shoulders hunch. He's watching the two of them with fondness and amusement, as Sasha gets all up in Tim's face in mock anger as he holds back laughter. She cracks just as he does, and the two of them snicker like schoolchildren.

They flirted constantly back in the day, with compliments and teasing touches exchanged quickly and frequently. Although Tim's sure that the reveal of Not-Sasha as a horrific monster colours his memories of the blandly pretty woman, something always felt a little off about the flirtation of his memories and the distance she kept from him. 

Sobbing continuest escape Tim but he's barely conscious of it as he feels an almost-overwhelming affection fill him. Sasha. The real Sasha. It's only once the memory begins to fade and the coldness of Jon's office returns that Tim starts to cry in earnest. He's never been ashamed to show his emotions, a year of therapy after- God, he can't handle thoughts of Danny now- helped him through that, but there's something deeply pitiful about weeping on the stone floor of your not-evil boss's office. Tim can't bring himself to care, as he holds the image of Sasha in his mind. It's only Jon's voice that prys his eyes open.

"I hope you'll be more cooperative in the future, Tim."

He watches Jon turns to go, expression full of badly-feigned contempt and poorly-concealed exhaustion.

_I'm..._

The voice in Tim's ear pauses for a moment, and as he walks away, cane clicking in time with his steps, Jon's shoulders seem to slump a little more than usual.

_I'm sorry for your loss, Tim._

Tim's sorry, too.

He stays there, curled on the ground, until Martin hurries in and drags him to the break room for a mug of warm tea with too much honey, just as Tim likes it. Elias drops by, and Tim knows the bastard can See what a mess Jon's made of him but chooses to show his face just to rub it in anyway. It doesn't sting, though- Tim replays Sasha's clear, bright laugh and the way she slouched in the chair that now sits empty next to him, over and over until he falls asleep at the table and dreams of her warm eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> any suggestions for where y'all want to see this go? I've got a fic from the perspective of jon half planned that fleshes out this au and clears up the timeline, but after that idk!!


End file.
